Sarah Palin

While peering through the sight of her sniper rifle in Alaska

“I wish folks would understand that when I say things, I generally don’t know what they mean.

Those journalists and politicians in Washington keep twisting my words to make it look like I mean what they actually mean. That’s just dawg gone stupid!

All I know is masturbating in front of Oprah is just plain as hell wrong, polar bears have got it coming and if you want a shooting done properly, gosh golly do it yourself.

That’s the kind of plain talking that’ll get me elected as President of the United Plates of America.

Now just edge a little closer you fuzzy ball of loveliness, I wanna splat your guts all over the snow.”