Taking off her slap before bed
"I hope Philip doesn't wet the bed tonight, you just can't wake him up when he's muntered. I better put the mattress protector on. What a faff.
Charles is coming over tomorrow. I really have nothing to say to him, all I do is stare into his big floppy face and those weighty, sagging eyes and think 'there's so much going on in there. And most of it's bollocks'. He'll just drone on about how we must save the environment but how ugly wind turbines are and how many innocent birds they kill. Give. A. Shit. No bird is innocent that's why I shoot so fucking many of the bastards.
Anyway there's no point in worrying about the icecaps now, we're all fucked. He should just enjoy life, lighten up a bit. That's what I'm doing - Harry is coming over later with a few wraps of MDMA. I'm going to get so loved up I might mount a corgi."
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