Thursday, 2 December 2010

Nick Clegg

During a policy briefing with David Cameron at Number 10

"Right, this is it, I'm drawing a line in the sand.

There is no sand, nice tiles though, I wonder where they come from? I'll ask Samantha.

Ok I'll sketch a line on the tiles. A Biro wouldn't work, I'll need some kind of marker pen and a metre ruler. Haven't seen one of those since school, I'll get big Danny on that. Mental note: Get big Danny onto that.

Right, 'David, I just can't agree to that'. Or maybe 'Dave, you know that just won't wash' is better. Just got to say it.

Here goes...

One, two, three...

Mmmm his face is so smooth, I wonder if he'd let me lick it. I bet it tastes of raspberry blancmange...

Oh shit, did I just agree to something? Wonder what it was, I hope it was fair. And will the party members go for it, whatever it is? At least there aren't too many to convince these days.

He's stopped talking... God he's looking at me with those big eyes. I wish I could dive into them and swim around his brain. Better nod and look serious."

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